Sunday, April 23, 2006

Main pass to ho jaunga na!!!

Since the final exam of my gradution is just 46 hours and 22 minutes away this question is haunting me like Jigsaw. Now since this is my final exam i should be studyin but when u are up till 5 am and made a fool out of urself last night its tough to concentrate on "Safety measures in chemical processes".
My life is getting monotonous the ususal masti is not helping me at all i need a xing to recharge my MOJO. But wat m i writing lets concentrate on wat i intended to write here.
The reasons why i can flunk in this sem........

Classes :
Since iit gives u a liberty to bunk 20% of ur course lectures i utilize it to the fullest. Now you tell me if they want us to attendt only 80% of the lectures why on earth any human soul will attend more than tht. But since i utilize this liberty in the first month itself then comes in the support of my lovley frnds .who save the day by PROXIES. Infact in reality i attend 20 % of the lectures but its the wonder of proxy which inverts the real ratio of 20/80 to 80/20.

Backbencher Yes i always laugh at guys who sit in the front bench ..u cant sleep , u cant play su doku , u cant even pass chits i mean common wats the fun in there . Infact in the past 4 years this back bench thing has affected me so much tht now if i sit in the first bench the prof looks like a giant anaconda with big red eyes thursty for my blood.

Sleepy hollow The AC is on the bench is comfortable and the sweet lullaby of prof is on... yes the sweetest sleep of ur life is the one which starts at 8:30 lectures and ends at the end of the 9:30 one. When u end up as a backbencher sleeping in the class comes in package. U slept at 4 in the morning and someone wakes u up at 8:30 to attend the lecture.. 4 hours of sleep is just not enuff for me .

Notes ... I nevr make notes ...reason excluding the above three is my hand writitng. If you will look at my copy it looks like a ISI's secret message to Al qaida encrypted in morse code. My teachers had a hard time in my school and the saga continues in here. Infact i got extra marks in some of my answers coz the teacher thought by the time she will figure out wat crap i have written she will check 5 other copies..

Prof's Fav You do the above mentioned things, screw up ur quizzes and mid sems and i gurantee u tht u get a special listing in the Prof's Most wanted list. He is waiting for jut one wrong move of urs and he can unleash the terror of the dreaded F grades.

Now since i lost another 20 minutes in writing this and I still dont knw the course of my final exam i m sure one more knot has been added in my hanging rope..
I hope i will survive this final bump in my ride.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Hello ! Hello ! Hello ! How low????

My cell is screaming this .... coz its validity is till june and the balance has reached to the limits where before making any call i need to listen to the crap message "Aapka balance kam ho gaya hai". Arrey yaar pata hai ki kam ho gaya hai mera cell hai pata hi hoga why the hell u need to remind me this.

I know u guys are thinkin about Irfan Khan and his kabootar wala top Up card ka ad 10 rupya ka recharge. But we all are missing the finer details. U need to "BUY" a top up card. See the emphasis is on the word Buy ...which is an activity which involves money.
Money... the sweet lil thing which can buy u all the things which mastercard people quote in their ads.

But I am broke and i have already availed my dad's ATM option way too much in this semester. Infact i have asked for so much money in this semester that my father is having a doubt tht i am secretly married to "lajvanti" and I am spending money on my lajvanti's jewellary.
In the begining of the sem gettin Udhar from friends was not a problem at all.But now since they know that i"ll be gone in few weeks its a tough job. i have tried lotsa ways like
"Abe abhi dede main kal subah de doonga"
and even the karan johar kinda senti dialogs
"Abe dostti ke beech mein paise aa gaye aaj" and my creepy frnds reply to me "haan aa gaye".
Yesterday i was googling on 101 ways to pick pocket but looking at the mumbai police statistics on cases of pick pocketing i ditched the idea. But i m sure i will come up with an alternative pretty soon.

But the good news is i dont need much money now kyunki The final frontier is here( my end semester exams) and it starts from tomorrow morning 9:30 am and here I am doing the same mistake again. Talking about the problem and not doing anything to solve it. But convincing your brain to study in the eight n final semester is a tough job. Infact my parents also have lost faith in me.

In my first year papaji always said "Beta vicky !! enjoy ur time but CPI 7 to bana hi lena atleast" .... but his expectations graph fell down exponentially with time and aaj kal he says .
"Beta degree to time se mil jayegi na?". No points for guessing my CPI but to give u an idea when Chetan Bhagat wrote " Five point someone" ... i found a hero in him .

My thoughts are disconected but I had 3 night outs in the last 4 nights so my mind of state is just a little better than "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!" (click here to know)
and if u guys are wondering than it is actually a name of a movie released in 1964.
Strange world Huh!!!

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Change is inevitable ---- I beg to differ

Life is tough it really is. Here I m sitting in front of my dabba at 5 am in the morning trying to complete my final year B Tech project but every nerve in my mind is shouting aloud.." ek frnds ka episode dekhte hain". Its tough to concentrate on the Chemical plant's reactor temperature when you have countable days left in your grad college.

With times things change but few things stay there as if they are amde for eternity one such thing which never changed in my life is the non --existence of a girlfriend in my 21 years life span on this planet. Although i had lotsa crushes but they all were crashed like "BOOM " on the box office. Infact my mom has so much confidence in my inability to secure a gf tht she gave me an open challenge.. " Tu koi bhi ladki le aa ... mujhe teri shaadi karane mein koi prb nahin hai.. haan but atleast 6 saal baad lana".

I agree with my moms concept of 6 years still i have no intentions of staying single that long ..though now i believe the other half population of the world thinks the other way. Since anyhow i m not doing anything useful i am writing down few things abt my dream gf which is only in dreams till now.

----> Mille sur mera tumhara... Music is a must. I dont care whether she listens to the head banging metal( which i love btw) or she is the disco station girl of bappy lahiri's era but she must enjoy music and dance.If she loves, i can sit beside her for hours, listening to even Ila arun's " Nigodi kaisi jawani hai " kinda crap

-----> Cook baby cook... Restaurant's food is just like Himesh reshamiya's music after a time it becomes so so monotonous. Woh ek baar bas itna bol de " Ankit!! aaj ghar aa jao ..I will cook for u" Kasam Paida karne wale ki main sab kuch chhod ke chala kaunga.

------> Great things come in small packages... Shouldn't be very needy. She should understand that even if i gift a 502 number match box ... i have feelings attached to the gift and its the feelings not the cost which makes the difference.

-----> Good dressing sense... I am not talking about her figure but i love people who dress according to their physique and occassion. I m no manish malhotra but any dumbass can spot the absurdness if Oprah will try to fit in a versace costume tailor made for Tara Reid. I m not very selective abt the dress .. In my opinion if someone wears a saree properly its the sexiest outfit in the whole world. Same is the case with mini skirts .

-----> Kuch kuch hota hai... Yes i would love to see Karan johar's movie with her and will happily provide her the hanky when a tear will run down her cheek the Kajol Shahrukh proposal scene. I will say tons of senti stuff to her (same to same as Yash raj films) with no problems at all but the "Kahani should be poory filmi".

------>Ha ha ha ... " tumhe pata hai aaj college mein kya hua??" ... " You knw natasha ..she is such a bitch.." Nahin yaar please there are enuff things in this world to cry for already .. Dont quetch about evry single thing in your life. Be a jolly person ..mere tuche se joke par bhi if she laughs then its like wining assam supper lotto .

-------> Hey u heard abt nanotechnolody??.. Nahi yaar jyada scientific na ho ( haan medico is the best) I dont have any preference of a BSc or a B Com girl she can be a scientist but atleast jab mere saath ho tab to she shud indulge in only sweet and simple talks.

I know its tough to find a match of this kind but still if any Sophiya girl is reading this ...then none of the above mentioned points are applicable for u .... my mail id is in my profile.....:d

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Fish curry , durga pooja, b0ng beauties and joka

"Ma !!! Arre Ma suno jara"
Haan beta kya hua?
Ma tera ladla cat do hazaar paanch mein pass ho gaya ma aur usse IIM Calcutta mein pravesh milla hai Ma.
Sach!!!!(yeh kaise ho gaya) Bhagwaan tera lakh lakh shukra hai

Yes light up the candles, break the chinaware and shake the wine coz this person is coming to IIM Calcutta. The land which gave us Rani mukherjee , sushmita sen and yes offcourse Aishwarya Rai.

Bengal the doorway to the east . I like so many things abt bengal like girls with big eyes, durga pooja, fish curry , tramps , rassagulla and yes again bengali girls they are so so sweet.
Though people are trying to scare me saying Calcutta is a dirty city a trip to the streets of calcutta really forces a human mind to think " We need gobalization".
Still the land of "hasiya hathoda and taara" sounds good to me .

Strangely i converted K also the stupid RDB question moved in my favor.
Indore also converted
I got kicks frm B n L
so the final conversion is 3/5
Thanks a lot to all the people who prayed for me n their best wishes :)

Monday, April 10, 2006

I m an Indian

Sau mein se ninyanwe Beimaan ,
tab bhi cricket team ka hai har koi kaptaan,
Bollywood hai apni shaan,
bache paide karne ka naya Kirtimaan,
Chor hai sala Pakistan
Mera bharat Mahaan,

I m an Indian (though i hate this thing n feel deprived when ever i see hollywood's chick flicks) still i m proud of it. But there are few traits of indians tht are way too common.
I hv been doing this since my school days ... i write down things in points so here it comes again

Score kya hua hai.... go to any bus, dukaan , college , garden ....if a cricket match is on and if India is playin this is the most common question u can hear. I have seen middle aged aunties whose TV viewing is definitely restricted to the K series Bindi Mayhem still once in a while u can hear these golden words out of their mouth.

Bollywood We love to sing n dance n it reflects in our movies. more than 800 movies a year few good piece of art most of the others utter crap yet it doesnt stops Indians to make more SRK's n Madhuri's. Be it ur date , family outing or even school trips this is one integral part of our life.

population........need i say anymore

piracy .. we rock at this but we will have to share the credit with our fellow CHINKI bhais( south east asia) . Using licensed softwares is one thing which is out of the dictionary of Indians. we all use pirated stuff so much tht if Bill gates will get the original data he will collapse faster than MS origami.

Kya Banoge Munna This is one another question which is common to all the guys n gals out there. Indians care abt their kids ( not the number) but their future. In todays world of competition the pressure is killing and the enviroment is suffocating.

We all love marriages ...:- Yes there are so many marriages in India n u need to attend them all to mantain the social circle. The marriages are amzing though ..delicious food, nice music , beautiful females dressed up so well n more ... Aise when i say we all love marriages i mean attending them as a guest not being the groom.

Pakistan haai haai.... We love this just say it aloud it feels so good ...right?? Pakistan is responsible for half of our miseries. I have been listenin this since ages , if there is a bomb blast it is pak, if there is infiltration it is pak n so on.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Why shall i go to the Lectures

I dont go to the lectures the sole reason for this is i dont have any motivation to do so. Everybody needs some kinda motivation to do things and the same thing applies on these lectures. I see my front bencher regular and punctual friends and i admire their patience their perseverance . 4 years yes 4 years i tried hard in my first year, no use, second year, same story and then finally in my third year i gave up.

Well i have nailed down few reasons why a person shall go to the class or the motivation behind it .

-> You enjoy the subject and love learnin more abt it:- Yes this can be the most genuine reason to go to the class and i respect it fully, though i dont understand it. Who likes to sit in a lecture room learn abt some chemical plant or heat transfer rather than sleeping in his/her room. If i go to the lectures than also i sleep in the back benches, n when i do a job i do it the best way so i sleep properly in my room rather than on the uncomfortable 4X2 benches of my classroom.

-> U have got a new shirt - Yes this one can be useful for the hot wannabe. The "Yo Man" club . Flaunting ur new shirt in the public or the sheer sense of achievement that u were able to save enuff money to buy a shirt (from ur heavy expenses of petrol, mobile, beer, sutta) when the whole hostel is in cash dearth(since it is the final month)

-> The girls in the class or the prof wears a SKIRT. oh god!! i wud have done straight 5 hour lectures if this was true in my case . None of the girls wear skirt (forget mini or anything) and i dont have any intentions of seeing my OLD PROFs in skirts either so this option is also ruled out. And yes i kick myself for being in iit and not in xaviers.

-> There is a new female admission in the class- This can be a factor in other colleges not at this place. you are stuck with the same batch for four years. So many movies had this story and i always imagined true for me. A new girl will walk in I will play some prank we will fight we will hate each other more than Mayawati and Mulayam singh and then finally she will realize my greatness and the IKRAAR of PYAR. But here also the situation is a myth since no new admissions in the class are there.
-> Class room is Air conditioned - Yes this thing fascinated me in my freshie year now not anymore moreover 72.3% of the times the ACs are not switched on and even if they are it takes a good 15-20 mins to bring the temp down so here also 25% of the time is wasted

-> You've got nuthin to do at home:-
This one can be a good enuff reason for many people.But not for me i can watch loads of movies listen to songs or just play cricket in my wing so actually i utilize my time more in the room than in the class room

-> Fear of XX -- This one is the most genuine, authentic and compulsive reason to be in the class room. When u have utilized ur options well in advance n the prof is threatening u with the dreadful XX grade( failed due to lack of attendance) . The moment ur name comes in the probable XX list u are a dif person all together. Stayin awake in the class doesnt seems to be a liability anymore and suddenly u become smart enuff to ask few doubts so tht the prof notices u.

Monday, April 03, 2006

bangalore ....torture and my 5th commandment

Yes i missed this ..... i m writing after a long long time and the sole reason for this is i was busy as hell. Since I will be passing out(tht too by god's grace in 4 years ) from this place , we are having our valfis.
Def valfi source ankipedia
is the annual function of each and every hostel of iitb where a function is organized for all the passing out students. A profile is written and is read in front of all, where the guy is stripped to limits deeper than Sharone stone in BI. The pride and self respect of every person is sabotaged and is torn into pieces

Suddenly things are changing arnd me ...

people dont enjoy chicken anymore ( bloody damn %%^$%^% bird flu)
and suddenly Haywards 5000 is eveybody's brand after RDB .

BUt few things never change not for good not for any damn reason of these thing is bloody my screw ups with iim PIs
I m writing this for the sole reason of my 5th n final commandment.

Sweet talks cant help u evrywhere
yes this is true i thought with sweet talks u can escape the toughest things in life but no 21 years of my life n i was wrong.

Tareekh 29th april
Jagah Mumbai
Samay 2 bajke 7 min
Mauka ...... IIM B GD /Pi

GD started and i did fairly well
infact i suggested the solution and that was expected as the final solution too.
I added one very imp point in the summary. so i was riding high

BUt this riding high was very short lived. I enter again and the same story is repeated
I will try to explain it my way

P1 So ankit tell me abt urself
Me The tape started and the old well mugged up lines

P1 Good acads in school wat happened in IIT?
Me some crap but he was not convinced
And then he started shooting Qs no matter wat i say or wat i do this guy was bombarding me with Qs so fast that for a moment i had to check the orientation of my head.

wats the gurantee tht u will start studyin in IIMB
P1 U knew studies are imp in IIT too so why didnt u start there
P1 ever tried to give chem engg a try???
P1 i m givin uu 30 secs prove tht u are worth studyin in iit
P1 you think u are capable enuff even w/o any work ex
tell me ur fav subject
P1 whats up with office of profit contorversy??
P1 smthin u are passionate abt??
P1 i rem only traces now ...... but it was nuthin short of a torture
i said thermodynamics n then this guy ripped apart my thermo concepts. He made me believe tht last 6 years in which i studied a lot fo thermodynamics were gone as the lost heat due to friction
N this guy addressed me again n again as a mechanical engg ?
yaar thik hai i know very lil abt Chem engg but kuch to aukaat hai baar baar mechanical bol bol ke mood hi kharab kar diya...

finally he said besides ur extra curriculars and ur school time acads u have anyithin else to tell me ??? so tht i take u

MAtlab 27 min ( my interview lasted for 27 mins exact) mein convince nahin hua ab lat chance deta hoon bacha le apne aap ko.

Finally woh convince nahin hi hua hoga

My dream was shattered
i wanted this so so bad ....IIMB to mera dream tha STYX ki raatein 150 ka pitcher .....kya life hoti

So the 5 commandments are over .... n i m heading for Hostel -2 valfi