Saturday, November 14, 2009

Leave your kids behind

Good morning, TEJAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( WTF is TEJA right?? But nobody reads this blog and frankly nobody cares). But as I love the movie Arth and hence taking inspiration from Mahesh Bhatt, I will speak without caring who cares…………….

As always I am staring on my office laptop screen and thinking hard when the hands of time will turn and end a long, tiring and demanding week which involved a miscalculation, an inverted arrow on a presentation and a very displeased boss.

I m pissed and I am furious and being the responsible citizen that I am, I am gonna raise my voice against the torture that is being subjected on poor souls like me since time immemorial

Parents with young kids..IF you can’t control your kids ……….please don’t get them to a theater.
With the advent of DTH and pay per view you Aunties and Uncles (I can get mean too) can actually watch good print movies (legally) sitting in the comfort of your home where you Chintu can be the spiderman that he always wanted to be, or your Tanu can get that walnut brownie she was craving for all her life. But for the sake of humanity please don't get them to theaters as all kids are suddenly possessed by some unknown devil in the dark shades of the theater.

Don’t judge me and don’t get me wrong, I do love kids and whenever I see a good looking lady with a small kid in the elevator I always compliment the kid saying whats your name boy or a gentle smile you know the usual stuff. Like most of the bachelors for me too kids are cute till the time you meet them for nothing more than 15 minutes.

But their likability is inversely proportional to the amount of time you spend with them.

You guys still think that I am exaggerating after all they are just cute and innocent kids. NO ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE.

After living the perfect student life (hostel life) for 6 years working in this big bad corporate world is nothing but a compromise. In the middle of all the appraisals, hikes, and yelling ( my boss yells and I listen ( my boss yells and I listen and i havent had a chance to be a part of the first two in my career so far) ) I have started cherishing my weekends a lot. Being the religious follower of FDNS ( First Day Night Show) I booked tickets for London dreams with few friends of mine.

I got to the theater 10 minutes before the start time of the movie to watch the trailers. I never miss the trailers,( these days they are the best part of going to a theater). So after watching Katrina Kaif's De Dana dan the lights were switched off and lata ji and Asha bhosle appeared on screen for the national anthem.

Reliance is trying to prove their patriotism or god knows what, but their version of "Jana Gana man" lasts for a whopping 3 minute 30 seconds where the last jaya hai only stretches for 35 seconds. In fact the Jana Gana Man in Big Cinemas feels longer than Dandi March itself. But that's a separate issue lets focus on the villains of the story

I saw one cute girl sitting in the front row and the weekend was shaping out nicely............but then suddenly I saw some 5 couples walking up and occupying seats in the same row as mine. The couples were

followed by atleast 8 kids ranging aged between 4-9. Watching them coming one by one I had a bad feeling.
I tried to stay calm and so did the kids, in the first half an hour their demands were trivial and were duly fulfilled by the poor parents. Did I say parents I meant the poor husbands as the Biwis were too busy watching Salman Khan and obviously refused to move.
But then the inevitable happened and suddenly Ajay Devgan started performing Barso re.. and the kids went bersek. Suddenly they lost interest in the movie and the aisle looked like a playground. I don't blame the kids completely as watching Ajay Devgan's performance for once even I felt like throwing my hands up in the air and yelling why god why??
You see even after having a strong urge of getting up and strangle Asin on screen, I didn't do that and you know why ?? Because I CARE.. I know that on a Friday night at least 40% of the theater is full of people like me who book tickets for Friday night shows via their office network on Wednesday morning and on Friday night wait eagerly to get out of the shell.
But people don't let you enjoy those three hours too.
One kid wanted to be Spider man ( I can only imagine the fate of people who watched that movie when this kid was around) but he kept on shouting and chasing his friends trying to spin a web or something.Then three kids refused to sit on their seats and were started running up and down on the stairs.
Please parents please buy a home theater and a BIG LED screen if you are a movie fanatic, buy some chips some beers invite your other couple friends, but make sure they have kids and they are as noisy and as misbehaved as yours are so that nobody is on the losing side. Watch as many movies as you want.
You will have a great time but for the time being spare us ......................

Current Song : Tu Jaane Na
Current Mood : Severe hangover

1 comment:

Dr. Priyanka said...

thanx 4 ur valuable suggestions....kans will my son know wat theater is? if people will hav mind set as urs....