Just Coz I am getting bored

In the last five months I have realized two things
1) I have insomnia and I mean serious insomnia
2) I am a poker addict
Just a little bit of flashback, since the age of 15 I have been sleeping for around 6 hours a day and throughout college even lesser. But now when I started working somehow everybody around me thinks its not normal.
As suggest one should sleep for atleast 7 hours a day.
Interesting point to note here is that both these things are not completely unrelated. It goes like this,
You come back from office @8:30 and have dinner by 9 and just at that time your flatmates and other friends arrive. These are the people who love spending time in office as much as I enjoyed Whats your Rashi ...... they are always on time. So you start playing by 9:15 and once the chips are stacked and cards are dealt I am like Shakti Kapoor on Red Bull .... Nothing can stop me then.
Generally around 12:30 -1.00 some people leave but like the Spartans I never leave my ground .... also by 12:30-1:00 I am usually losing and its difficult to get up when you are losing money.
For all those people who think that I am one of those sharaabi, Juaari & kebaabi basically Veeru as explained in the words of Jai ...MIND IT!!!!!!!!!!!! (Eventhough I am a non vegeterian and I do indulge in alcohol but who doesn't right) but I am no gambler.
POKER my friend is no gambling. This was proved and argued by the dude who won an Oscar for the best Original Screenplay .. Matt Damon. Do you have the balls to argue with him??? This is what he said in rounders "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" Now I don't claim to the smartest tool in the shed but that my friend is one hell of an argument.

I am not gonna bore you guys with how great poker is and etc.
I am talented enough to do that without using poker as a prop.
So yeah I end up playing till 3-4 in the morning and next morning I show up at office @9:15 sharp.... well and to my surprise I don't feel sleepy... I am scared as I have seen "The Machinist" and I know what lack of sleep can do to you.
Somehow my mom knows that I don't sleep enough. Every mother's regular question is beta dinner kar liya?? How is office going??. But nahin my mom always asks me did you sleep well yesterday night and I always say haan haan achche se soya tha(lies ) but after so many years of practice, lying to my mom comes so naturally to me.
You can't trust anything these days right people kill somebody and walk away with 3 years of imprisonment, Ready is a super block buster , and Mithunda's beta getting second movie.
But there are some things in life you can always trust and that my friend is a deck of 52 cards.
Now Insomnia is bad not just for your health but it kinda screws you mentally. In my case the after effects are not that obvious but I could feel it.
So now I literally have dark circles my eyes are generally red and they are fluttering all the time. Its not like I didn't try to do something about my dark circles. But damn you John Abrahim, that cream is oily and it doesn't fucking do anything.
Also your brain works slightly weird, like somebody will be talking to you and your mind will kinda wander off. Now in college it was all fine coz nobody cares right, but in office people don't take that lightly. Once in a while the excuse of not sleeping enough will help you to get through. But if you show up like a brain dead zombie way too often the deadly pink slip might be around the corner.
Good new I have survived most of it till... so now its 7 and its a Friday night, so tonight I can actually play all night without any guilt or regret.

Ek saal baad

Wooohooo!! One year yes its almost a year thats a lot of time. So, I just came back to my blog and saw 19 comments and I am like oh my god people actually missed me.Well I always knew that I was in the zone when I was writing down the big boss post and I knew I nailed it but then from 1 comment in the last post to 19 comments, well that’s like a growth rate of …ummmm well a really good growth rate, right right !!!

So I decided to reply to each and every comment and that’s when my heart was broken, this blog looks like some classified page, I mean from bad loans, French cheese, escort services to penis enhancement everything has been sold here. I feel sorry for this blog and sorry for my sister and my cute Nepali friend Thapa from Kathmandu (they were the only two regular readers of this blog).But any other visitor if you got benefited from these ads good for you.

So it’s been a year and what has changed in my life, from a strategy role in a Bank (yes they do exist), I have moved to a sales role with in the bank. This is my third job profile in 2 and a half years with in the same company, talk about career mobility. Well that can mean only two things, every team wants me or nobody wants me in their team. I guess you know the answer and yes it’s the first option.

So now I am in a sales role and I sell collections & payments solutions to corporates.That means go to your friend "Google " dig out some contacts and call them, send them emails talking about how great we are and how we can bring in so much transparency and efficiency in your existing processes which will lead to a lot of cost savings etc.

Remember the last time you banged the phone on the guy who was trying to help you by offering a personal loan @18%, or insurance for your credit card.The other time when you were contacted by a female, with a husky voice and just to feel good you tried to prolong the conversation by talking about all the nitty gritty of the product, when you yourself knew that there are higher chances of Ajit Agarkar making it to the national team then you buying that product. So please I request you all not to do that, it hurts it really does. You know you raise the hopes of that person and then you crash it with a sledgehammer.

So as you can see professional life is going on okaish even with all the moves and all the job life remains same more or less. Well right from my childhood I always knew my career choices were limited to studies only because:-

1) Nobody in my family is into politics

2) Nobody in my family has got any connection with the film industry

3) I never had any innate talent in sports/music.

Well if you have tick marks in the either of the above two options, third one is possible.

I tried to explore other facets of my personality to Like I joined cricket coaching at the age of 9 but soon I figured out I can’t wake up at 6 in the morning everyday run for half and hour and do some stretching for another 30 minutes. Only then we were allowed to take on the bat and play. I mean who wants to wait for an hour before playing some real cricket. I felt cheated and decided I am not going to pursue it. Parents were happy only, my father never liked it in the first place you know the usual middle class comment. Cricket khel kar kuch nahin milta, padhai is the only way to arrive in life.

My father bought me a Casio Keyboard too, Roja was released in 93 I was 8 then and I read about Rahman, I started believing how hard it could be right, to create that water drop sound effect in "Dil hai Chota sa". I mean there were 14 modes of producing the same sound on my keyboard. But again wrong within two months I was happy with the pre recorded soundtracks on that casio and inc/dec the tempo was all I could do to create my own music and yeah the famous 6 block of disco beats. Bappi Da built his whole career on those six buttons in early eighties. But I just missed the bus I was just too late

So that leaves one universal option Woking for yourself .

It is a dream we all cherish, and its always at the back of your mind just like other dreams involving Megan Fox. But very few have the courage to accomplish.

My conditions are also kinda stiff ... I don't have any business plan, I don't have any money and yes I am definitely not willing to work hard. So that keeps my options very very limited.

So the only option left is, work enough to keep the monthly paycheck rolling and keep the pik slip at bay.

Current Music : Leaving On a Jetplane

The BIG Boss is in da House!!!!!!!!

Beat this twice in a month I am writing after hmmmm well when I used to stay awake till 5 in the morning in Joka, point is I have not been this free in the last 1.5 years. A finance conference in the northern part of the country forced all my bosses to attend the event and I have absolutely nothing to do.

Remember those days when you used to read comics, I used to read it once then again I used to read only one character’s dialogues ( it may sound crazy but do it once its so much fun….adds a whole new paradigm to the whole story).

Well to maintain my high standard work ethics I was not reading comics in my office but I tried to do the same thing with cricinfo/cricbuzz’s commentary and if you pick some random 5 -6 words from the long sentences of their commentary it again adds a new meaning to the whole story.

Like

“plenty of confusion as he works it away into the legs”

“full on the off, coming in a hint, pushed back”

However it needs a mind as twisted as KRK to appreciate that kind of humor, BTW KRK is suddenly a sorry figure in my opinion. Yesterday I saw him on BIG BOSS (I know I am lame, so STFU a$ %@#$) and even the inmates were taking his case. Imagine a house full of losers who are as close to being called a celebrity as Himesh Reshamiya being called an actor and they are taking somebody’s case. He is the butt of every single joke cracked in those quarters. Sameera Reddy literally ran away when she was asked to dance with him, I have seen (experienced) some rejections myself and it will be safe to say I know how it feels, there are few situations I can think of which can make you feel equally embarrassed I mean that must be like having a black kid when you and your wife are straight out of a fairness cream ad.

But seriously television is going down the hill and I mean big time , at 9 pm there is nothing much to watch so after getting out of the hell hole while having dinner I have no choice to but to switch on to colors ….

And I see BIG Boss. Here are my “ chaar lina” on the inmates.

Tanaaz And Bakhtiyaar Irani:

The Unwanted 72 capsule clearly didn’t work .

Tanaaz ( who is easily the most irritating thing to happen to this world since the birth of VJ Bani) and Bakhtiyaar(well this guy’s name is Bakhtiyaar I can only imagine how much beating he must have got throughout the school to add to this he is married to Tanaaz, no doubt this guy got that –i-have-no-will-to-live kind of look on his face all the time.

Sherlyn Chopra Now here we got a person who wanted to follow the footsteps of Rakhi Sawant , Wrong choice of idols I must say. But she is surely the marvel of human silicon technology.

Ismail Darbar This guy must be bored of fighting with Abhijeet, Bappi da and Himesh Reshamiya. I don’t like my job very much either but watching this guy sitting through all the talent shows as judge sometimes gave me a sadistic pleasure. When Zee tv extracted all the wannabe rockstars from the deepest corner of the country they focused on lil champs…………….those kids know one thing for sure. How to drive adults crazy ….

Aditi Govatikar:- In my opinion she has killed her career for once and all, it was only after watching her without make up I realized how much a lil facepack or a lil mascara can do. Morning hours mein she looks pretty close to a Komodo dragon

KRK :- Leave the poor guy will you , cut some slack he is a just god’s own child born in that part of the country whom nobody takes seriously. But he is 100% unadulterated adult entertaintment

Jaya Sawant : I thought she will be equally bad ass as her daughter but no man I was so wrong, so what she had no clue about how to pray and she had no idea about any hymns ( which is evident in Rakhi’s prayers too “Hey ISSU MAsu hum aapka thanks karte hain kyunki aapne humari table par aaj khana diya”) But atleast she tried. Thank god she didn’t stay for long, imagine what havoc gods might have done after listening to her prayers.

Claudia : - Seriously ???? SHE IN BIG BOSS??? How much recession has impacted the television industry and how strict the top management has become on budget

Raju Shrivastava:- for how long star one could have stretched his repetitive jokes and crass comments. But honestly this is the only guys who came in BIG boss with a clear agenda…. “ I will try my level best to be funny and hopefully some director ( Priyadarshan must be his ultimate goal) will cast me in the next venture”

Rohit Verma : As if we were lacking any stereotypes , a male fashion designer who is a cross dresser. If you had any clues about this guy he comes to the house and utters first words of wisdom

“Main ladkon ke kamre mein sounga ya ladkiyon ke”

Like everybody else watching the show the contestants were equally speechless. Its only people like these who make you feel good about yourself.

Shamita Shetty “ Seriously dude just because your sister won Big Brother in UK you think you can win Big Boss in India. You think this is politics?????????????? I take it as an offence that you guys rate the Indian audience’s intellect in the same level as that of those tea-sucking-fish –chips mongering British punk asses.

Poonam Dhillon :- I think she is looking for a back door entry into Ekkkkta Kapoor’s camp. Playing the perfect mother and the female head of the house she is actually not that bad.

VINDU DARA SINGH :- I have nothing to say but “

“I mean seriously who the fuck is this GUY????? ”

Oh the small clock on the left side of my lappy-top's screen is flickering( yeah cost cutting in my bank too), and the time is 7:55 pm.

If I will leave in the next 15 minutes, I will beat the traffic and will be home by 8:40....... which will give me enuff time to slip into my shorts open a beer and sit in front of my television to watch colors again.

But honestly how can u take a show like this seriously.

Leave your kids behind

Good morning, TEJAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( WTF is TEJA right?? But nobody reads this blog and frankly nobody cares). But as I love the movie Arth and hence taking inspiration from Mahesh Bhatt, I will speak without caring who cares…………….

As always I am staring on my office laptop screen and thinking hard when the hands of time will turn and end a long, tiring and demanding week which involved a miscalculation, an inverted arrow on a presentation and a very displeased boss.

I m pissed and I am furious and being the responsible citizen that I am, I am gonna raise my voice against the torture that is being subjected on poor souls like me since time immemorial

Parents with young kids..IF you can’t control your kids ……….please don’t get them to a theater.
With the advent of DTH and pay per view you Aunties and Uncles (I can get mean too) can actually watch good print movies (legally) sitting in the comfort of your home where you Chintu can be the spiderman that he always wanted to be, or your Tanu can get that walnut brownie she was craving for all her life. But for the sake of humanity please don't get them to theaters as all kids are suddenly possessed by some unknown devil in the dark shades of the theater.

Don’t judge me and don’t get me wrong, I do love kids and whenever I see a good looking lady with a small kid in the elevator I always compliment the kid saying whats your name boy or a gentle smile you know the usual stuff. Like most of the bachelors for me too kids are cute till the time you meet them for nothing more than 15 minutes.

But their likability is inversely proportional to the amount of time you spend with them.

You guys still think that I am exaggerating after all they are just cute and innocent kids. NO ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE.

After living the perfect student life (hostel life) for 6 years working in this big bad corporate world is nothing but a compromise. In the middle of all the appraisals, hikes, and yelling ( my boss yells and I listen ( my boss yells and I listen and i havent had a chance to be a part of the first two in my career so far) ) I have started cherishing my weekends a lot. Being the religious follower of FDNS ( First Day Night Show) I booked tickets for London dreams with few friends of mine.

I got to the theater 10 minutes before the start time of the movie to watch the trailers. I never miss the trailers,( these days they are the best part of going to a theater). So after watching Katrina Kaif's De Dana dan the lights were switched off and lata ji and Asha bhosle appeared on screen for the national anthem.

Reliance is trying to prove their patriotism or god knows what, but their version of "Jana Gana man" lasts for a whopping 3 minute 30 seconds where the last jaya hai only stretches for 35 seconds. In fact the Jana Gana Man in Big Cinemas feels longer than Dandi March itself. But that's a separate issue lets focus on the villains of the story

I saw one cute girl sitting in the front row and the weekend was shaping out nicely............but then suddenly I saw some 5 couples walking up and occupying seats in the same row as mine. The couples were

followed by atleast 8 kids ranging aged between 4-9. Watching them coming one by one I had a bad feeling.

I tried to stay calm and so did the kids, in the first half an hour their demands were trivial and were duly fulfilled by the poor parents. Did I say parents I meant the poor husbands as the Biwis were too busy watching Salman Khan and obviously refused to move.

But then the inevitable happened and suddenly Ajay Devgan started performing Barso re.. and the kids went bersek. Suddenly they lost interest in the movie and the aisle looked like a playground. I don't blame the kids completely as watching Ajay Devgan's performance for once even I felt like throwing my hands up in the air and yelling why god why??

You see even after having a strong urge of getting up and strangle Asin on screen, I didn't do that and you know why ?? Because I CARE.. I know that on a Friday night at least 40% of the theater is full of people like me who book tickets for Friday night shows via their office network on Wednesday morning and on Friday night wait eagerly to get out of the shell.

But people don't let you enjoy those three hours too.

One kid wanted to be Spider man ( I can only imagine the fate of people who watched that movie when this kid was around) but he kept on shouting and chasing his friends trying to spin a web or something.Then three kids refused to sit on their seats and were started running up and down on the stairs.

Please parents please buy a home theater and a BIG LED screen if you are a movie fanatic, buy some chips some beers invite your other couple friends, but make sure they have kids and they are as noisy and as misbehaved as yours are so that nobody is on the losing side. Watch as many movies as you want.
You will have a great time but for the time being spare us ......................

Current Song : Tu Jaane Na
Current Mood : Severe hangover

Mobipost

I am well aware of the fact that the monthly readership of this blog is restricted to me, my sister (I beg of her to read this) and the software engineer from Bangalore (now that’s a cliché) who doesn’t say much but just writes “Loved your post keep them coming” followed by his blog’s url. Bottomline you will be more interested in reading the autobiography of “A K Hangal” than this blog, but to live up to the name of this place, I am still alive.
First things first I have completed one year in the big bad corporate world and till now successfully survived the downturn. When paycuts were as common as Mayawati’s statues in UP, also words like downsizing and cost control looked like “starring Oscar nominated” in a firm’s annual report. But to be fair my bank didn’t retort to such cheap gimmicks and they successfully retained almost all of us. So what if the stock prices are lower than a movie ticket but as long as I am getting paid enough to buy those movie tickets I am not losing any sleep over this.
But one thing, which can’t get out of my head is, I lost one of my most prized possessions for a long time, my Iphone. Oh yes the 8 Gb sleekest and coolest looking chic magnet phone. I know all of you must have lost a phone in your life, when it comes to phones we all have a story to share and here is mine…………… main aur mere mobile.
I still remember my first cell-phone, my parents went to DILLI and got me a silver colour Panasonic the year was 2002 (first year engineering), though the cell phone was as big as the dairy milk bar in “Aaj Pheli tareek hai (love the ad)”, the blue display was something I loved the most. My father at that time sported a Nokia which helped him to build his biceps that too unintentionally, so I myself felt on the top of this world. Snake was so outdated as I had a cool ball rolling game and Bipasha Basu was the brand ambassador and that’s not all. The antenna wait for it ……………………was not there. On the whole one of the best gifts to have after getting into an engineering college. Some of my batchmates had flap phones and some NRI kids flaunted their alcatel mobiles but I loved my phone. That phone stayed with me for almost 2 years. One frightful evening I was coming back from the class and suddenly it started raining I tried to cover my phone by hiding it under my windcheater but as you know Panasonic phones have a durability of less than that of a mosquito coil,………the display went off.My father got me a brand new colour display phone from Benq………………..oh what a mobile it was. That time Benq had the cheapest colour display mobiles and I was one of the 500 Indians who bought that phone (the phone was taken off within months because of horrible sales figures). The phone had polyphonic ringbones and was much sleeker and lighter than the Panasonic. But this was year 2005 and mobile industry had evolved a lot, people were talking about 1.3 megapixel cameras, net connectivity, mp3s etc. I never gave a damn as mobile phone’s utility was limited for me coz :- a) Most of my wingmates used to bunk lectures so all of my friend’s were mostly together, b) No hot girl used to call even after my desperate attempts of flashing my mobile number on Mumbai global chat and C with a capital. Only my parents and sisters used to call, mostly to scold me for falling grades and increasing ATM withdrawals But as people flaunted their speaker volumes and the cool FM radio things, I used to avoid taking in a public place, especially in the vicinity of the fairer sex. Not that I had a chance otherwise with them but even when death is inevitable how many people commit suicide, right? I somehow survived on that phone for a year, somebody stole that Benq phone from a canteen (can you beat that what a low self esteem guy to actually flick that phone). Around the same time I got through CAT and got into an MBA College.
Filled with the new excitement of buying a new phone I was tricked into buying a tata indicom’s flap phone (some nice marketing manager must be up there) and what a phone it was. Everytime somebody called me the phone used to go into Bappi Lahiri & mithunda mode yes I am talking about D-I-S-C-O mode. As the yellow, green blue and pink yes pink light started to go flashing with a ringtone which was pre loaded and that sounded like Anu Malik’s attempt to sing a bhajan. The camera quality was so great that all pictures looked like Xray slides. In most of the picture teeth were the only identifiable portions of one’s face. I identified my mistake within a month and sold off that phone for a loss of 50%. Feeling guilty for that loss I bought the cheapest available nokia 1100, the snake on that phone is the best mobile game ever :)………..
When I went back at the end of first year my father gifted me the newly launched Nokia N70music version, what a phone it was but as is the common thing with Nokia phones, within 3 months that phone was outdated and prices were slashed by 50%. I was heartbroken as the 1.3 Megapixel camera was substituted by 3 megapixel cameras and sound quality was getting better and screen size was getting bigger day by day. I thought I am not gonna buy an expensive phone again as no matter which phone you buy, after sometime they all feel like bell bottom trousers in the age of denim.
But then came Feb 2009 and on my birthday my friends gifted me an Iphone and it was love at first sight………I knew this phone will make time stop as it can never be old, this phone will be janam janam ka saath and this phone will put the S back into STYLE. But one day I lost it, how and when it doesn’t matter what matters is that I lost it. I don’t want to write anymore coz it breaks my heart to even think about it….....................

I Can't Concentrate

The title has got nothing to do with the post .......... but these days its the in thing. To randomly name a movie. Like Tasveer 8X10, 99 etc....

Monday afternoon as I pretend to be working in the office staring into my laptop screen with a straight face, I realized one thing. I have tickets for 27th of march on my desk. Yes I am going to Goa for an extended weekend, which translates into three days holidays. I have no clue what Gudi Parwa means or what m I supposed to do on that day. All I know is that it has forced the Banking industry to give their employees a well deserved break on Friday. Take that consultants, this is called work life balance :)

I have finally booked the tickets and confirmed the booking over phone (Judith you sounded so sweet). Maybe next time I will book the hotel recommended by you so what it costed 2000 bucks more.

Now I know for people who have stayed in bombay it's not that big a deal to go to Goa. But even though I did my graduation in Mumbai and traversed the narrow streets for four years, I have never been to Goa. Now that is some record which looks more embarrassing than Celiena jaitley’s acting skills. But before you judge me and brand as the un-cool uncle types guy, let me explain the reason behind my inability to put the GOA xing into my life.

Last time when I finalized my plan to go to Goa, believe it or not Tsunami struck India’s southern coasts. Now my father thinks I am as responsible as Prof Khan was with N bombs. So he thought I will be in the sea for most of the time in Goa and yeah with a reaction time slower than that of A K Hangal, he said don’t go abhi, go later. Now this later is like submitting your project report. Once the deadline is over it really never comes again. So those plans were shelved off and I had 4 consecutive no-goa Christmas-newyear in Mumbai. After joining my job in Mumbai hardly got a chance to go on vacation. But now I have seized the day and stole the moment of thunder, I planned this holiday way back in januray can u beat that.
Well if you look at it, it was not difficult given the fact that 70% of my time in office I am googling and reading about random things.

Job life is treating me well. I mean in the current market if you are able to talk about job life it’s a big relief in itself. Every morning I come to my office and offer my prayers to the almighty if my access card works and yeah then the double check comes in when I log on to my laptop. I look up with a sigh of relief as the screen flashes “welcome ad897797”. The smile goes from 6 inch wide to a small frown when I see 81 unread messages… but yeah part and parcel of work life.

Lately my friends have developed this special interest in scrabble, now my vocabulary is as broad as Taliban’s mind. I mean what do you expect from a small town boy from Bhilai. But still dosti ki khatir khelna padta hai. Infact looking at my vocab one friend of mine said “ Tune class 3 ke baad words sikhna band kar diya tha kya?”.
As my friends fight over the existence of some classy words ….( atleast they sound classy to me) like Celeste. I remain happy stealing 3 pointers and 6 pointers with “JUG”, “Bed” when one day I made the word “ELATED” the word was not only there on the board but was evident on my face and the wide smile. I mean common I used 6 out of 7 tiles.
Lately I am also too much into bowling, but like all other sports initially I helped my friends with the technique n all and now they all defeat me hands down. But I have realized this I am the man whom they call it as the first gear man. I get into things out of excitement than snap out of it pretty soon. With an attention span of Dewegowda’s status that makes it a very fatal combo.

IPL moved out of India, now all my plans of faking a headache during office hours to take an early break are ruined. I was so excited about watching a live match … but it’s all gone, I so wanted to cheer with KKR’s knight angels to add to the glamour quotient Shilpa Shetty was also around this time. OMG, where is natural justice.
But then life has never been fair.

Victory

“Her-man” Baweja’a latest offering after the first sci-fi futuristic romantic saga Love Story 2050, the modern city of that was conceptualized in 1999 by warner brothers(The Fifth Element), is Victory. Talking about his last release Harman said LS2050 was ahead of its time and probably it will be a classic when his son “She-man” Baweja will make a debut.

However, taking cues from this shaktimaan meets chandrakanta flick , Harman intelligently picked up the safest option in India for his next venture, Cricket. India has a history of some classic portrayals on cinema of this nationwide extravaganza. Dev Anand did it with Awwal Number where his police commissioner cum national selector cum pilot cum sharp shooter’s methodological performance was considered to be the most overall character in the 90s. Then there have been recent attempts like Say Salaam India or meerabhai not out. Although most of these movies met their fate the same way LS 2050 did, however artistic accolade is something you cant take away from these movies.

So riding the high tide of recent Indian Victories India Vs Srilanka Ajit Mangat decided to direct the movie Victory. The movie is already getting 3 star rating from the greatest critic of modern India Taran Adarsh, who keeps on referring to him as HURMAN for god knows what reasons. Harman Baweja & Amrita Rao, whose fight with her dress designer continued in this movie were also present at the India Srilanka match to cheer for India’s victory in the second ODI.

There is not much to say about the movie as the trailer says it all. It’s a regular story of a local guy from a small town of India who makes it to the Indian team. However once on top he loses his focus and success gets onto him. Gulshan Grover plays the bad guy, who introduces Harman to the big bad world of glamour related with cricket. Harman fumbles and then he is ridiculed by public, selectors his own father and the curtain clad Amrita Rao.

However Harman redeems himself , practices hard and drinks boost to focus again on his game and comes back as a winner.

Although a linear story it’s the execution that makes this movie a class apart.

When Harman sledges Bret Lee and says “ Tune sahi kaha tha chutiye”. Theater audience had the same tremors of rage flowing in their body when Sunny Deol shouted in Gadad “Humara Hindustan Zindabad tha Zindabad Hai and Zindabad rahega”.

Victories casting directors had a tough time casting so many cricketers and Amrita Rao was pissed as she says here "Harman acted with so many cricketers and i didnt even get a scene". However poor Amrita rao doesn’t know that more than half of the cricketers are morphed into the scenes.

But Harbhajan Singh makes a sensational come back and although this time he doesn’t slap anymore nor does he says "Maa ki" but he got a chance to perform a Victory Bhangra along with great Indian cricketers like Ashish Nehra, Romesh Powar and bunch of players who are currently not in the Indian Squad who will make it big in the ICL just like Harman will make it big in Bollywood after this movie.

Sreesanth was nowhere to be seen, though he desperately wanted to be a part of this masterpiece, but with Sreesanth is following a 50 feet distance from Bhajji. Moreover Sreesanth failed the auditions because of his famous kathakali.

Harman awaits the Box office verdict, but for movies like victory its not about the money afterall .....

Do i look like a guy with a plan?

“Do I look like a guy with a plan?” Joker immortalized this line when he said it with the confidence, which can only be equaled by Pakistani army generals.

Well if you ask any one who knows me enough or infact has seen me for more than 20 minutes can tell you I fit the same category. Not because I wear war paint of I have scars all over my face but I have always been that kinda person. Never thought about the consequences and just acted in the moment. Paid some price for it but never big enough to revisit my philosophy of life. But things change and sometimes some things hit you so hard that you need a moment to just stay back and think where the hell did I screw up. It’s more than losing a test match it’s more than failing a course coz it changes you as a person.

People regret things in life we all do. Sachin regrets the attempted lob against Pakistan at ferozashah kotla, Jeetender regrets about that night he conceived Tussar Kapur and Advani regrets his Pakistan visit. But I always thought if I can look back at anytime in my life and can say that given another chance I will do it exactly the same way again I’d be a happy man. We all crave for a second chance some people are lucky enough to get it like Sachin did with his century at Chennai but some people are not lucky enough. Things have been on track till now n pretty smooth and then u hit a roadblock and the world around us starts to crumble.

But with all the roadblocks comes a hope a small ray of light which keeps the belief alive which helps u going which gives us the momentum to breathe to whisper and to live.

It’s easy to understand the jokes of a random guy but its difficult to understand the pain n ironies of life. Just remember the college days when sitting at the coffee shack hours used to go by when chatting and cracking jokes. But the moment some guy will start telling some serious stuff I used to disappear. Life comes full circle after all J

Its been a long time since I wrote something well when life is full of so much happiness its difficult to take out time to stare at the lcd screen and type in on the key pads. Especially when you do the same or at least pretend to do the same for 10 hours daily in the office. But when there is a void in life you come back to things, which make u feel good. I am writing this down because 15 years from now if I will read all this I will feel good that I survived these times. I was so weak at some point I was so regretful n disgusted at some point but I had the courage to fight back I had the will to stand up and walk tall again.

I just lived the most beautiful part of my life and wanna live it longer infact forever ………………

Phoonk......fall of RGV

Back in 1989, for a north Indian like me any movie from South India meant a hero who looked like the gatekeeper at Taj Man Singh (only two shades darker), a heroine who looked like the "BEFORE" pic model of VLCC slim centers and a villain who looked as if he just came back after having an oil massage,

Bollywood was also having its own troubles

Dharmender was still busy ripping apart enemies and drinking their and their pet's blood in "Elaan-E-Jung", "Hathyaar", "Kasam Suhaag ki" etc. Mithun was busy saving his sisters from Shakti Kapoor with movies like "Hisaab khoon ka", "Daata" and if this was not enough "Gareebo ka Daata" was also released in the same year. Amitabh was losing his ground. Govinda was busy romancing with Neelam and dancing to the tunes of Bappi da in "Aasman se Ooncha".
Amir khan was launched (1988) but then he fell in love with juhi who bhi 3-3 baar in LOVE LOVE LOVE, Salman Khan was shadowed by Bhagyashree in the super duper hit young love story "Maine Pyar Kiya" and SRK was still doing rounds on DD national with his "Circus".
Movies like "Ram Lakhan", "Parinda" made their mark but the efforts were too small to counter the mayhem created by the industry as a whole.
Bollywood cinema was driven by loud music, crazy costumes and villains who loved to see the heroine's "NAACH" before pulling the trigger. "Oye Oye. Tirchitopi wale" was a national anthem and Anil Kapoor defined the spirit of Mumbai with "Bom bom bom bom BOMBAY meri hai".

But in the middle of all this came a movie from South India with a new hero who although had a mustache but was much slimmer than his predecessors. None heard about the hero nor the director. No words about the heroine, well at that time there were no Ash or Katrina so guys hardly paid any attention to that aspect. Sridevi was already an established name in Bollywood and she stopped doing movies with Jeetender.
The movie was based broadly on the same framework as of "AAAAYEEEEEE SAAALAAAAA" Mithun's movie where the hero is squeezed then hammered to the point of desperation. And in the desperation he turns to a man of anger and physics defying movements killing every guy who once had a go at him.
But it was the treatment of the movie, the brilliant screenplay, the near to perfection performance of Nagarjuna and the touch of a true genius Ramu's direction.
The plot was realistic because of background of college campus, there were no "Sarhad paar ke mujrim" or Chemical Farmula to destroy humankind.
Its intense drama, based on the college politics was something to which many students related. Cycle chains were stolen across India to be used by roadside ruffians. It displayed the technical superiority of The director with gripping camera movement. Even though the movie was an intense and very violent thriller each and every character was written in depth and dialogues were realistic.
SHIVA was here Nagarjuna was a superstar and Ram Gopal Verma's name was noticed.
Ram Gopal Verma had arrived and with a bang... this was followed by another landmark horror movie in Bollywood "Raat". RGV proved his worth and established himself with movies like "Sarkar", "Satya", "Company", "Rangeela". Apart from directing movies himself he even produced movies like "Shool" and " Ab tak Chappan" to support promising directors.
It looked like RGV's company is going to bring unconventional cinema with good scripts for years.

But over the years like his taste in woman his quality of movies also deteriorated and which brings us to the latest offering " Phoonk". After watching phoonk I was devastated not by the constant focuses on the bizarre looking soft toys and artifacts in the house, neither by the maid who carried one expression throughout the movie, neither by the hero who looked like a rickshaw driver and had the dressing sense comparable to "Ibu Hatela " from Dombivilli, Neither by the rock solid performance of the crow (he stayed motionless like a rock throughout the movie), neither by the special effects of buzzing bees which clearly showed lack of producer's funding, neither by the grandma who wobbled her head whenever she wanted to and took long breaks in between, neither by the heroine who got 3 dialogs in the whole movie, the list can go on for so long that it might be even longer than the original script.

But I was devastated by the fact that Ramu has become so predictable, its like he has completely lost his touch. The man who defined a whole new genre in Indian film industry is running out of ideas to figure out where to put his camera. He is running out of ideas to surprise the viewer. He is running out of background scores. He is running out of color shades to put on the next frame. He is running out of creativity and the technical brilliance, which once used to be his forte, is reduced to ashes in his latest flicks.

Being the guy who works in the big bad corporate world for 5 days and rely on the regular bollywood dosages to recharge my mojo I feel crushed and suffocated under the weight of my own expectations.

Office Blues!!

As I settle in to my office chair with one armrest missing (apparently my firm doesn't believe in rest), it just struck me that it's been good or not so good 2 months and 5 days since I joined my office. The past two months definitely deserve a post, I mean if I am not going to talk about it who else will.

Getting out of college and entering into the corporate world always scared me and now as I am living it, I realize its one of those few times when I can say " I knew that". Well given the kind of time I devoted to projects and classes in college this situation was more anticipated than Mission Istanbul's failure.

Life has changed completely, there is not even a single day anymore when I wake up in the morning have a look at the watch and can go back to sleep again. Taking a bath everyday in the morning shaving and wearing a tie has become a routine thing like in college watching a movie or a series used to be.
I get out of my room and there is no music video being played on my fronty's lappy, in which a Tam superstar Fat guy with a mustache is dancing with a girl of almost the same size and the cameraman is struggling even with a wide zoom angle to fit them both in one shot.

Two years of MBA, I used to run away from balance sheets and any term which even remotely had any resemblance to finance, and now its showing. I was so scared of it that I bunked 6 lectures of a finance course even though I had a grade drop for the same.

I almost got offended and thought one colleague is abusing me when he said CPLTD only to realize it later that he meant current portion of long term debt. When boss said DSCR I kept on smiling and pretending I didn't hear him. I guess after repeating it twice he also lost interest in whatever that meant. Out of those few client calls I have done I have displayed a financial acumen that I had to cut the phone saying "Hello! Hello! I cant hear you clearly."

I devote a good amount of time in office in listening to various terms nodding and giving that smile which means "Oh I know that" and coming back looking for the definitions in investopedia.com.

But as you see its not completely my fault I told this clearly to the guy who recruited me

"Sir, I am not very good at finance but I am a smart & sharp guy, I will learn everything in 2-3 months".
I am still not sure whether he was convinced or he just wanted to teach me a lesson by recruiting me. I mean I can see the dark side now, that time I was thinking OMG!!! he actually bought that... Man I am a good salesman: D.

Now since I am not very good at projections, (my boss can vouch for that) this figure of 2-3 months was not to be taken seriously. I say lets make it 6 months for now and after 6 months we will revisit the number again.......

Short ramblings of a short guy

Oh yes this is me writing again, back to my beloved and forgotten blog. Even though I was getting dead bored watching rakhi sawant’s reaction on IPL Cheerleaders and how it is unjustified to Import cheer girls when we have so much indigenous talent of Mumbai Dance bar girls. Imagine Dhoni hitting a sixer n the song being played is “Dilli ki sardi” or “Choli meri tang hone lagi”.
If somehow u will escape these stupid interviews u can find Great Khali running arnd on your tv screen on every second news channel. Smtimes Khalli is expressing his wish to play cricket smtimes he is gifting a live chicken to BIG SHOW. Even after going through so much torture I didn’t write any blog. But deep down I always wanted to.

First things first after two years on 5^th april I got my MBA degree. Well I did the usual stuff like running away from the classes copying assignments n somehow still managed to get my degree on time. Since I was a small kid mummy papa ne daraya dhamkaya but kissi bhi tarah se padhai karwaya( sorry for this but u see it was not rhyming). But they don’t have to try any harder anymore coz I am done with my study days. So what if I don’t sound 1/10^th of a scholar as a bareliy university ke 4^th year LAAW ke vidhyarthi rannvijaya bhaiya will sound. But the hard fact of life is I have studied continuously for 20 years of my life. I mean rite frm those nursery days when mumma used to drag me to the classes, to the MBA days when I used drag the attendance sheet sign n run I have seen a lot and done a lot.But to be honest m sad coz Mithun da's son is making a debut. Bete Papa ne kam zulm dhaye hain jo tu bhi shuru ho gaya. BUt on a serious note I m sad coz I know this is the end of my hostel life. Those days are not coming back and the last six years were like a dream run for me :)

Second thing is for the second time in my life I have convinced somebody to actually pay for my work:) . This time it is citigroup and even though I didn’t join my last job I have no plans of doing anything even close to that with this one. Still sitting here idle at home is even more painful I have already written a book on how to be a couch potato in 5 simple steps. Second book I started writing but then star news par “Sansani” start ho gaya n I got scared n dropped the idea of writing a book.

To kill the time I am taking cooking classes from my mother( this one is for all the girls… see I can cook too koi to response do). Till now all the cooking has been done under mummyji’s supervision so till now no 70s movies ke comedy scene types situation hui ahi where the side heroine mixes salt instead of the sugar n smhow the director thought it was funny.
Second thing is I have started teaching at a CAT coaching center. Well here also I have taken the inspiration from television only … every morning I used to switch on the tv n anybody who had hair long enough to knit Mayawati’s salwar suit n a beard in which two birds family can live happily ever after….were giving GYAAN. I thought Its my turn to give it back to the community so finally Ankit is now Ankit sir and giving fundaes on how to count the last digit of 3¹⁰ ….
Well I just hope I m a bit more regular…. At this place.
Current mood sleepy
Current music : tashan

Backbenchers

As I procrastinate every other decision of my life like taking a bath, cleaning my room and filling up forms, I have decided that since I still have 313 days 12 hours and 27 minutes to complete my resolutions I will work on those issues later. The only time you can see consistency in my life is when I watch Friday night shows of every freaking and crappy movie releasing that week, rest of the days I am this useless potato.
Yesterday I attended the last class of my 20 years education. No matter if my mom says I have an IQ of a ten year old I am almost a post graduate now. All the while sitting in the back benches in every class i used to think why the hell this clock stopped moving. But now it has moved.
All said and done when I was a kid apart from fantasizing about Jackie Chan’s martial arts, Sachin Tendulkar’s Batting and Heman’s Den I always used to think grown ups have such an easy life. They don’t have to worry about the playtime, home work or the scary Heena Paul Maam at school. But as time passes by you realize it’s the best thing in life.
Well life at IIMC has been a jolly ride. Student life is always easy if you stop worrying about petty things in life like grades, exams, projects etc and start focusing on bigger things in life like movies available on LAN, new places to eat and next daaru party.I have done all that and I had my share of fun, A LOT. Now my father’s ATM can’t take the brunt of my weekly withdrawals and everybody expects me to take up a good job and earn some big bucks. This whole thing scares me coz my student life is gonna end and that too pretty soon.
I don’t think I am still ready for the big dirty cruel corporate world out there. But then if I give it a serious thought I don’t think I will ever feel that I am ready. The worst side- effect of being a fresher in an MBA college apart from the fact that most of the females are elder to you is that you are always confused.
A big motivation behind me doing an MBA apart from the fact that I really liked the idea of getting a sexy short skirt wearing secretary was that I wanted to extend my student life. Now I am here and after realizing that being a Manager is different from what Yash Chopra’s movie tell you. I know the sexy secretary is out of the scene and Microsoft Power Point and excel sheets are the biggest reality of life.But then getting a good job means preparing days and nights for all the interviews and that is something which scares me even more.

My father always says that every person should live in a hostel for once in her lifetime. That makes you a better and more confident person. Well I completely agree with him on this issue. Hostel life definitely taught me lots of things and now soon this is also gonna end. Few good things about a hostel are no matter what time it is somebody is always awake which gives you a chance to barge into their room, no matter what time it is somebody is always playing music and yeah the night canteen is there.

We all enjoy the fun time but now I think I will miss the harder times too.

Never again I will feel the thrill of waking up in the morning and realizing I have an exam in two hour of which I don’t even know the syllabus. Never ever I will have those late nights group meetings which by the way are the least productive activity known to human kind. Never again I will be able to sleep in class, never I will sneak into a class room from the back door or put proxies for my friends.

But when there is a beginning there is an end and unlike Subash Ghai’s movies all endings are not pleasant.

Sunday - Movie review

After a successful “Golmaal” Rohit Shetty’s latest venture is Sunday. With an impressive starcast of Ajay Devgan,Arshad Warsi, Irfan Khan and Ayesha Takia, Sunday looked pretty strong in its promos. I was quite excited about the movie after watching the promos, my only fear was Tushar Kapur, but I thanked god when his name appeared as Special thanks.
Well it’s difficult to give a black and white review of Sunday. You can’t call it an outright winner and not a complete waste of time either. It will definitely fall among the better category of humor of recent times. But still you will have some disappointments.
Sunday is a comedy-thriller where the thrill part is a major let down. Sehar (Ayesha Takia) is a dubbing artist (thank god not an Advertising professional or journalist an innovative profession for sure) living in Delhi who is unable to recall the accounts of one Sunday. She remembers going to a night club on Saturday and going for a movie on Monday but one Sunday is missing.
Ayesha Takia desperately wants to find out what happened on that day, well if one is chased by reckless goons who wouldn’t. Strange people acts weirdly around her after that one missing Sunday. Ajay Devgan is a Cop and prospective fiancée of Sehar. A Taxi driver (Arshad Warsi) and a struggling actor ( Irfan Khan) are looking for Sehar and asking for 420 rupaye. Ajay Devgan tries to solve this mystery one missing Sunday.
The real hero of Sunday are Arshad Warsi and Irfan Khan, the timing is impeccable, the chemistry is outstanding and when they both are together on screen they give you moments which will make you laugh out loud. The jokes are very situational and it’s the sheer mastery of Arshad and Irfan who instigate a touch of brilliance. The first genuine hilarious scene comes in with the entry of Irfan khan and after that both of them never go down. One scene when Irfan Khan is dressed up as Ravana and the scene where Sehar scares the hell out of both of them are moments of great fun or the HR parody.
Most of the other actors look desperate to make you laugh. Ajay Devgan’s new found love for flaunting his cleavage is beyond my understanding and somehow he was not at all fit for the role. All the time it looks like he is fighting hard to be funny but not quite there. Ayesha Takia was not given the responsibility to make you laugh. Her job was to look pretty all the time and scared sometimes. It was nice to see that she lost some weight after her Miss Thunder Thighs and Hooters appearance in No Smoking, still there is a long way to go. Vrijesh Hirjee’s accent might make you smile for the first time after that he just drags. Many side characters are put in for no good reason.
Sunday is confused, there are few scenes which just appear out of no where and they don’t make any sense. Arshad Warsi’s emotional revelation of his kidney problem is one of the most stupid thing Rohit Shetty could have done. But good thing is everytime after all the mayhem and stupidity Arshad and Irfan come on screen to clean up the mess. In the second half Sunday changes tracks to be a thriller still there are good doses of laughs. But the thriller part is the most ridiculous suspense you could have ever imagined. When the whole mystery breaks you feel like why it all started in the firs place. Casting that cute little bump as the villain clearly shows budget constraints or may be Rohit Shetty was smoking “Classic Milds”. A major let down on the movie is its screenplay. Sunday is full of worthless song placed in the worst possible situations. To add to the agony the music is nothing but great. Rohit Shetty fumbles in all the romanticize sequences and the chemistry between the lead stars never builds up.
In the end I will say if you have some extra cash and some extra cash give Sunday a try for the sake of Irfan Khan and Arshad Warsi’s outstanding performances. Otherwise even if you miss this unlike Sehar you are not missing anything.

I am gonna give Sunday 2.5/5

New Year Resolutions

As the sun sets on 2007 and as a new day begins of 2008, as the memories fade away ….time calls for a new year’s post. As our nation’s brave men reproduce to create a whole lot of 5 European countries every year I thought it’s my time to take some brave steps and put my life right back on track.
So I promised myself and the short Chinaman in Bangladesh Juan-Hu-Tab, who by the way is my blog’s only regular reader apart from me, that I will change all the things which are going wrong in my life.
Subash Ghai is directing a movie in 2008, India has to play two more tests in Australia, and Balaji productions is still making money. So you see there are enough things to be afraid of in 2008. Anyways, here are my resolutions for 2008:-
A special drink:- Remember when you were a little kid and the coolest thing in life was Jackie Chan’s summersaults or Akshay Kumar’s flying kicks. Well on similar lines since the time I was able to relate with drinking I always thought James Bond style of ordering drinks is the coolest. I might develop something like “ One JD with a dash of lime” or “Double Scotch on the rocks”. Well I have already started working on it and soon I will be as cool as them :P. In the process surely I will get drunk once in a while and again look back to my Dad’s ATM n say “Thank you for everything”

Get a Good job no no wait get a JOB:- Within two months my placements are gonna start and soon enough there will be blood bath. My father invested a lot in my studies and its time to prove him that all his money has not gone wasted like the money which Ayesha Takia spent on her boob job. Since I spent all my MBA in the back benches sleeping away to glory and cogging my assignments even Rakhi Sawant would be able to guess my state in the job scenario. But I read it in The Economic Times that MBA guarantees a decent job so I m gonna sue its editor if I will become an exception.

Lose some weight: - Okay this is one thing about which I never thought before. In fact never ever this thought came to my mind that the situation will get so worse that I will have to make it a resolution. But when my final year graduation’s jeans in which I used to slide in swiftly. Then suddenly every stitch of that very same jeans was crying out loud when I tried to put it on. I knew all those pizza slices and beer pints have started to show their effect. I want to avoid all those embarrassing moments when I will have to ask the guy standing next to the jeans counter with “May I Help you” tag on their shirt “Excuse me! Where can I find 32”. The whole fear of upgrading from 30 waist size to a 2 inches higher waist size has forced me to put this thing in my resolution list.

Bunk last class of my MBA:- I started my IIT days by bunking my very first class. That was purely unintentional the class was at 8:30 in the morning and my alarm clock stopped and one thing led to another and I woke up at 9. But this accident made me realize the fun of bunking a class. Since then I have bunked classes for games, for my friends for quizzes and even for the lift of my hostel not working. So I ended IIT days by bunking the last class. Here I missed the golden chance of bunking in the beginning but since then I have improved a lot and I will end my not so shiny student career again by bunking the last class.

Visit Sikkim:- Its been one and a half year since I am in Calcutta and I had my fair share of free time to kill to sabotage and hang. Still I missed the chance of visiting Sikkim. Two times we booked ticket and due to some reason we had to cancel our tickets. So now I have decided whether my friends will accompany me or not I will go there at any costJ.

Current mood:Sleepy
Current Music: Kiya Kiya from the movieWelcome

Taare Zameen Par – The Review

Taare Zameen par is the directorial debut of Amir Khan and he surely impresses.Amir Khan who is indisputably among the finest actors comes across as a magnificent story teller.

The story is of an eight year old boy Ishaan Awasthi. Ishaan has some snag with studies. He lags behind in class and most of the time he is standing outside after being punished. Ishaan loves to paints he lives in his own small world where fishes can talk, trains can fly and yeah he brings everything to life with the help of his paint brush. Lost in his own world Ishaan merrily play with fishes, street dogs and fantasize about fictitious characters.
Ishaan’s elder brother is the class topper and a tennis champ and hence it invites comparison. Driven by strong service class mentality Ishaan’s parents want their kid to excel in studies and concentrate more on academics. Ishaan fails in class 3 and faces rustication from school because of chances of getting failed two times in a row.Desperate time calls for desperate measure and Ishaan’s father enrolls him in a boarding school against his will and his mother’s. Ishaan feels betrayed, he is hurt he goes into this shock stage where he hardly talks to anybody and more importantly he stops painting. Here also he lags behind in studies but more importantly he loses the will to be happy.
Then comes a temporary art teacher Ram Shankar Nikumbh( Amir Khan), he tries to figure out the reason of Ishaan’s silence and disinterest. He finds few symptoms of dyslexia in Ishaan, and then decides to help him out. He educates his parents about dyslexia, convinces the principal to be liberal with his marks. Being a dyslexic himself, Ram Shankar relates with Ishaan’s problem. He not only helps Ishaan’s to deal with dyslexic but also builds up Ishaan’s lost self confidence.

Taare Zaameen Par strikes right chords because of an amazing script, meticulous direction, magnificent performances and Simplicity. Everybody would be able to relate with Ishaan. Ishaan’s problems his life at some moment will definitely become yours. Every character is beautifully written and Amir Khan makes sure you are acquainted with all of them. This is the beauty of TZP because everything is so believable and realistic that after some time you become a part of it.

TZP triumphs because of its simplicity. The characters are so believable that they feel like people living next door. Darsheel Safary is brilliant. Amir intelligently handled his screen time and he never overshadows the script or any other character.
It’s the master story teller Amir Khan’s sheer brilliance that he is being able to bring to life some of the most touching and heart warming scenes on celluloid. Amol Gupte’s sensitively written script indulges you into each and every emotion.
SEL gives a melodious heart warming music which not only adds to the narrative of the story but also embarks many unsaid emotions. “Ma” is unarguably among the best shot song of recent times. Hand held camera and sharp editing is vividly used in “Bheja Kum”, Date raho introduces all the characters colorfully and offcourse the title track is sheer melody.

TZP never tries to preach anything it’s not a movie about dyslexia. But it has a noble feel and an intrinsic kindness. This movie talks to all parents and forces them to introspect. TZP works because it is so relatable we all can see ourselves on screen at some point or another.

The only minute shortcoming of TZP is its pace. First half can be cut short by 15 minutes but I will say it doesn’t matter because the movie is slow for sure but you enjoy every moment of it.

TZP will make you laugh make you look deep into your soul will make you relive few childhood fantasies and it will make you cry. But its not a sad story it’s a over whelming experience and when in the final scene Ishaan run towards Ram Shankar you really feel world is a better place.

4/5

Just three more months ...

Like Mithun Da’s career, Rabri Devi’s government or Nayan Mongia’s batting all good things come to an end. My student life is also coming to an end, the fifth term of my MBA just got over and if my history has got any credibility I will pass this time too (by a thin margin off course). After three months my student life would be over and I will join the corporate world. That means what... No more classes, no more stupid assignments No more cheating in the exams and yeah no more project meetings (which by the way is the far most inefficient act known to human race.).

But I m not happy, school brings back lots of memories, be it the early days of my kinder garden when my mom used to drag me to school and I used to cry, when Archana Ma’am looked like a cross bread between Doga and Skeleton. When most frequently asked question in the class room was “Ma’am can I go to toilet?”

To the middle school where we used to play king kong in the ground and chalk out plans which will save the man kind from the evil powers of the unknown. When becoming rock star, pilot or cricketer was the dream of many. When clearing another level in super Mario was the biggest achievement of the day.

To senior school when we made a promotion from shorts to full pants. When girls suddenly became the most attractive thing in the world. When I was forced to take the biggest decision of my life: engineering or Medical profession. When we bunked school to play cricket. When I watched basic instincts in mute mode in the hall, while mummiji and papaji were sleeping in their bedroom (I still thank my cable wala’s late night’s “special screenings”)

To the IIT days where sometime I was afraid of signing the attendance sheet in the exams, reason being it might be caught as proxy. My 15 movies in 48 hours run, or the 40 hours with out sleep khandala trip or the late night visits to Bandra. My first encounter with booze, my futile attempts on yahoo chat rooms to get a girlfriend, or the orkut profile hunting.

Finally IIM, it’s tough to remember good things about a city where “Chalobe na” and “Calcutta Bandh” are the two most common words after Namaste and Saurav ganguly. But I love this place because booze is cheaper here than Bombay. I love this place because I got my first bike here and many more firsts of my life happened at Joka.

World outside the college would be a different place. Like cursing won’t be that casual anymore. Sleeping in the office won’t be taken in good spirits and off course copying your project work won’t be an option because you will be working alone.

It scares me and excites me at the same time. Imagine there won’t be my father’s ATM card anymore. There won’t be any fake courses or fake expensive books by means of which I will justify my ATM withdrawals.

There won’t be any dobhi who will take care of my dirty laundry. No mess wale Asif Da, who by the way thinks that water and oil can be used in same proportion in any sabji. I will have to cook my own food, wash my dirty laundry and yeah wash the utensils too.

Since I m as confident of my cooking skills as Virender Sehwag is of his batting just a mere thought of it scares the hell out of me. Asif da looks like lady Annapurna to me now.

I will live my last three months of college like I have been living since last 5 and a half years. I will kill the time merrily and don’t worry about the future.

Current song: "Tum se hi" from the movie Jab we met

Aaja Nachle - The review

"Aaja Nachle" is the come back movie of heartthrob of 90s , Madhuri Dixit, the dancing diva the dhak dhak queen ..but sadly Aaja Nachle turns out to be a mediocre movie which is definitely below the mark. I am sure Madhuri Dixit deserves better than this..

The movie starts in NY where Dia( Madhuri) a successful aerobic instructor or dance teacher is informed about her dying Guru. She immediately flies to India to meet her teacher, who i mite add is clearly the most irritating character in the movie. On her way she recollects all the memories of her life in India, where she learnt how to dance and LIVE.
The flashback part is the hardest to bear..Madhuri is clearly nt a bubbly teenager nemore..n its a torture to c a 40-smthing jumping arnd the city merrily..her Guru addresses her as "chudail"..n thts wen u realise tht nt all dialogues in the movie r meaningless.. Coming back to the story, Dia elopes to NY with her firang boyfriend Steve (how he falls in luv with this old woman is a mystery!!)when her parents forcefully try to marry her to Mohan (ranvir). She leaves behind a hostile town, few broken hearts and a close friend. Once in NY she realizes that it was a bad decision.
Now aftr all these yrs..She is coming back to Shamli. She reaches India but by the time she is here her guruji is already dead (thankfully!!) but master ji manages to torture by means of a video he leaves behind where he tells her that Ajanta the theater faces demolition because MP (Akshay Khanna) wants to build a SHAPPIN MAAL there. Dia decides to revive Ajanta by doing a show with the people of Shamli within 2 months and hence save it.

I love underdogs movies, its a genre which forms its foundation on hope, aspirations, motivation and courage. Sadly Aaja Nachle fails to embark these emotions.

As told by Guruji “ Jo dil se nikalta hai who Kala (art) hota hai jodil mein reh jata hai who Kaala(Black) hota hai”. Aaja Nachle also fails to inspire, it fails to indulge you into the lives of the characters. The journey for Dia that seems so difficult in the beginning turns out to be a cake walk. She hardly struggles to achieve the success.

“ Naach Gana nahin Nritya sangeet choudhari sahib” is enuff to convince the rowdy politician Choudhary Sahab(akhilender Mishra). “Aapke jaise modern jamaane ke foreign educted MP se” convinces Akshay Khanna. The whole town which hates Dia is pouring in for auditions. Madhuri dixit gets tons of extras, huge sets, costumes Funds to do all that and there is not even one single scene which shows her intense struggle or tries to explain how. Definitely these things can be left as cinematic liberty but a few explanations would have made the story more believable.

One thing which will impress anybody is the star cast of the movie. Ranvir Shourie as the tea stall owner Mohan who is madly in love with dia clearly stands out in terms of performance. This guy speaks from his eyes and when he says “Chai bhi aapki main bhi aapka he moves the screen; Vinay pathak looks cute and definitely acts well. Kunal Kapur, Irfan khan divya dutta Konkana Sen, : luks like the Director spent all his time on casting..

But the problem lies with the script which hardly leaves any scope for brilliance by any of these actors. Irfan Khan is wasted, Divya dutta has just one good scene and she does a great job. Dia tries to convince Shamli’s junta to support her in her struggle to save ajanta by saying “Jab tak suraj Chaand Rahega Shamli mein Ajanta ka Naam rahega”. Clearly Shamli is not convinced and definitely not you...Aftr the dialogues i hav quoted so far it wudnt require lot of brains to gauge another sad fact..the dialogues of the movie are uninspiring to say the least..

Another shortcoming is the music, you expect mind blowing music the kind of music which will make you jump off your seat and shake a bit. But Aaja Nachle’s music is anything but great. It’s an average soundtrack with few moments of thrust. Another shortcoming is Vaibhavi merchant. This movie was offered on a platter to her..she cudnt hav asked for more than madhuri.. I was wondering if this was the same woman who gave us Kajra re. After a horrible performance in saawariya Miss Merchant again fails to impress. I know its not that bad a job but for a movie like this you expect choreography which is out of this world. The last 20 minutes of the movie in which the play is shown, clearly stand out but with stupid moments like

“na maaro chot lagti hai na maaro,

Chunmun si hatheliyan hai POOCHKAARO”

It leaves you with mixed emotions.

Anil Mehta never tries to go into details. He didn’t explore any single character he fails to put forward the emotions of any character and how the transformation is taking place. IF only he would have tried to put the characters of lives on the celluloid the end result would have been different.

Yash raj has given us great movies but something is missing now. Chak de is the only movie coming out of this production house which comes out as a winner. “tara ra rum pum, Jhoom Barabar, Laga chunari mein Daag and Aaja nachle also fails to live up to the expectation.

2/5

Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal-- review

The most awaited sports action drama of the year… Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal starring John Abraham, Bipasha Basu, Arshad Warsi, Boman Irani and Naveen Andrews.
Well the only thing audience waits for after getting inside the theatre is "When this crap is gonna end?"

Its a trend these days to make sports based movies. But the only thing related to sports in DDDG is the title and one or two goal scoring shots. Following the league of chak de India goal takes everything what chak de stood for and beats it to death. In fact goal defies all the basic norms of a sports flick. There are no nail biting finishes, no sight of inspiring football and yeah no motivational speeches. Director Vivek Agnihotri made an average debut with "chocolate", a bad but stylish adaptation of Usual Suspects. But in dhan dhana dhan goal its tough to find one good scene in this whole movie.

The situations are bizzare , the characters are shallow, the soundtrack is awful, the sports action is no where to be seen and the Script is a disaster.
Goal is about the southhall football club which is in deep trouble. They haven't won a single match in the last 20 years they dont have any sponsors and now the club faces the fear of being thrown out and hence destroyed forever. The team captain Arshad Warsi owns a kebab corner" GLassy Junction", the team consists of few beer gulping pot bellied laggards who are more interested in blaming each other for their losses then to concentrate on the game.
But for a team you need a coach." BAM comes Boman Irani" a great footballer of his time who is now a pathetic loser drinking his life to death. Sounds familiar... wait for it there is more to come.
Now a team also needs a striker who by the way happens to be the dimpled cheeks John Abrahim. But Arsad Warsi and John despise each other. So the racism hits John and he is out of his Firang club and joins southhall.
But a team also needs a physician... Kaboom here comes Bipasha Basu the sexy sister of our captain who by the ways is waiting for any opportunity to throw herself on our striker John.

After collecting the team Vivek Agnihotri focuses on so many sub- plots of racism, patriotism, father son relationship and in the end he delivers a product which only taran adarsh can watch and appreciate "read it here". But he sets one thing right and that is right from the beginning of the movie he clearly communicates to the audience what to expect in the coming 2 hours. The opening 10 mins of the movie sets the bar so low and when the south hall club owners dies with a ridiculous heart attack( I m assuming it was that only) you cant do anything but laugh and hence when the Item Number pops up in the streets of london ... nobody is amazed. The stupid football players who flaunt their torso after hitting the goal and you wish they should never score again.

A football team consists of 11 players where every individual plays a crucial role but DDDG consists of 4 players with one or two cameos from the remaining cast. To be honest till the end of the movie i was not able to count 16 players who form the team. I guess Boman Irani doesnt believe in substitute. Nobody except John looks like a player.

Director knew from the beginning that this epitome of stupidity wont fetch him money on the box office that is why he tried to rake in some moolah by idiotic product placement.
There are so many things which are wrong about DDDG but the major blame is on the script. The movie fails to connect with the audience on any level and that is because Vivek agnihotri never tries to do that.
By the time the movie reaches the climax and start singing their anthem( which by the way made no sense coz it was not used properly) you just stop caring who wins or who loses because you will be looking for the exit doors to open.

1/5