Thursday, December 25, 2008

Do i look like a guy with a plan?

“Do I look like a guy with a plan?” Joker immortalized this line when he said it with the confidence, which can only be equaled by Pakistani army generals.

Well if you ask any one who knows me enough or infact has seen me for more than 20 minutes can tell you I fit the same category. Not because I wear war paint of I have scars all over my face but I have always been that kinda person. Never thought about the consequences and just acted in the moment. Paid some price for it but never big enough to revisit my philosophy of life. But things change and sometimes some things hit you so hard that you need a moment to just stay back and think where the hell did I screw up. It’s more than losing a test match it’s more than failing a course coz it changes you as a person.

People regret things in life we all do. Sachin regrets the attempted lob against Pakistan at ferozashah kotla, Jeetender regrets about that night he conceived Tussar Kapur and Advani regrets his Pakistan visit. But I always thought if I can look back at anytime in my life and can say that given another chance I will do it exactly the same way again I’d be a happy man. We all crave for a second chance some people are lucky enough to get it like Sachin did with his century at Chennai but some people are not lucky enough. Things have been on track till now n pretty smooth and then u hit a roadblock and the world around us starts to crumble.

But with all the roadblocks comes a hope a small ray of light which keeps the belief alive which helps u going which gives us the momentum to breathe to whisper and to live.

It’s easy to understand the jokes of a random guy but its difficult to understand the pain n ironies of life. Just remember the college days when sitting at the coffee shack hours used to go by when chatting and cracking jokes. But the moment some guy will start telling some serious stuff I used to disappear. Life comes full circle after all J

Its been a long time since I wrote something well when life is full of so much happiness its difficult to take out time to stare at the lcd screen and type in on the key pads. Especially when you do the same or at least pretend to do the same for 10 hours daily in the office. But when there is a void in life you come back to things, which make u feel good. I am writing this down because 15 years from now if I will read all this I will feel good that I survived these times. I was so weak at some point I was so regretful n disgusted at some point but I had the courage to fight back I had the will to stand up and walk tall again.

I just lived the most beautiful part of my life and wanna live it longer infact forever ………………